By: Mike Pilinski
There is a single monumental question that lies at the heart of every man’s life… what exactly is it that women consider attractive in a man? And how do I come into possession of this mysterious quality?
I believe that it all boils down to this one basic idea: women are attracted to men whom they sense hold a relatively impressive ranking on an invisible scale of Male Status. Perhaps more crudely it could be called dominance. But dominance over what? Over some slice of the other men in their world. This scale reflects how a guy has fared in competition with his fellow males in terms of strength, wealth, accomplishment, notoriety, etc.
And the higher up this scale you appear to be, the more likely you are to show up on the radar of the women around you!
Male peacocks impress with their huge feathery plumes, male moose with their grand rack of antlers… and human males? Wealth, authority, fame and/or athletic strength usually do the trick of attracting the mating interest of surrounding females. But the important thing to remember if you’re a guy who possesses little or none of these qualities is that, when it comes to humans, perception is reality.
This means that if you can wear the attitude of the HSM, or even demonstrate that you are on your way up the career – school – business ladder (if you’re still a younger guy in your 20’s for instance), you can pull as many opportunities out of the female population as you’ll ever need to create an active social life for yourself. If you haven’t been doing so, it’s more likely due more to the attitude of failure that you project about yourself than any actual repellant personal or physical characteristics.
The perception of yourself that you broadcast to women is everything! The combination of these factors, and how they express themselves via your attitude about yourself and the world around you, forms your own unique male display.
Look, sexual attraction is primal, it occurs on a profoundly subconscious level in both sexes. Hell, it’s mostly unconscious if you get right down to it. Attraction may be supported by the rational part of the mind, but rarely overridden by it. On a purely instinctual level men are attracted to women who exhibit visual signs of youthfulness. Big eyes and small chin, 70% hip-to-waist ratio, smooth skin, etc.etc. All of these are signals of youthfulness, and thus a healthy child-bearing potential for the female.
This mating calculus is much different for women because male virility is not so closely linked to youth as female fertility is. Men can sire children with ease far into middle age, and even advanced age. So women perform a quick, subconscious appraisal of a man that grades him for his potential to help her raise his offspring. She must consider if a man is likely to remain loyal to his family, so trustworthiness is a big issue.
This is why married men are so attractive to some women – because they’ve demonstrated a willingness to team up with a woman by making a legally binding commitment to her (even if it’s a misguided one).
Anyway, women view most men pretty much like this in a mating context:
1) Their Apparent Ranking on the Male Dominance Scale
2) Attractiveness and Style
3) Interesting and Compatible Personality
4) Character
Character comes last? Character becomes an important factor later on in a relationship – but I believe the problem with character is that although it’s a nice quality to have, it doesn’t really get those primal-sexual juices flowing. This is the problem with nice guys; they’re all character and no juice! In fact, you can look at the list above and pretty much read it from top to bottom as a roll call of what gets women all hot and bothered about any guy. Number One (male status) gets the most compelling reaction from her, while the effect on her instinctual mating triggers diminishes as you work your way down the list.
During the thought process that goes on when first meeting a man, a woman’s thoughts might run through a progression something like this:
1) Observe high status male behavior or attitude
2) Determine if he seems safe and interesting
3) Listen for the first stirrings of chemistry
4) Submit to the male’s advances
Notice the first thing that a woman “scans” for? This grading process tends to occur in mere seconds, which is why you have no time to waste making a great first impression. Undesirable men are weeded out by personality quirks which signal low status. These kinds of guys are almost always found engaged in some kind of compensatory behavior in an attempt offset that low status (i.e., control freaks, loudmouths, know-it-alls, rage-heads, critics, etc.) that sets them up for immediate rejection. I talk about all this extensively in my books because there’s a lot to know about handling this pivotal moment of first encounter.
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