By: Giuseppe Notte’s
I talked a lot about “being a Man”. But what do I mean by this? This is the most difficult part to understand. Once you really get it down, you will have no problems with women.
If you ask them, 999 out of 1,000 women will say that they are waiting for “the Man.” Still, the concept itself is very vague. A girl will “feel” when she is with a “Man,” but that doesn’t help you too much, does it? In order to understand it from our viewpoint, we will look at genetics again. As I said, women are acceptors, while men are donors. An acceptor can choose whether to accept what the donor gives or not. Hot girls are spoiled by the numerous unconditional offers they get and usually reject them flatly.
They love to remind us that it’s they who choose. But this is not ALWAYS the case. A hot woman will meet many average Joes every day. Of course, she could select any of them if she wanted. But what she craves is a real Man. And here’s the twist: That Man is not a real Man for her alone, but for all other women as well. He has qualities to which all girls will respond. It’s wired inside them. He is now the one in the position of power. So, in the end, she will have to do the dirty work and seduce him. Women don’t spend hours in front of the mirror just to be sure that they look their best, but also to ensure that when a real Man comes, he notices them.
And this is how an ideal seduction looks. The man CHOOSES first. He expresses his interest in the woman through his attentions. If he is POWERFUL enough, the woman will like him. But she will also know that he has CHOICES, so she will try to seduce the Man and tame him to stay with her. So what do I mean by “powerful”? Looks, money, fame or influence? None of the above. These are just external qualities that can trick a woman into feeling that you are powerful. True power comes from the inside. A real Man will make her feel like a woman just by his presence. Even if he is naked and without his money, car and clothes, his power radiates from within.
Back to evolution, the most important thing to show your woman is that she can feel safe with you. The Man has to be POWERFUL enough to LEAD her. But, if you are in a restaurant and she is the one who has to choose the table where you sit, then has to order the food while listening to you say, “You are soooo beautiful. I don’t deserve such a beauty,” what will she think? Is this man capable of protecting her? Does she feel safe with him? No. So the No. 1 quality a Man has is the ability to lead.
Here are the other two as well:
1. A Man knows how to lead, and he is confident in his role.
2. A Man always has options, self-respect and is never needy.
3. A Man knows how to treat her.
Let’s look at No. 1 again: A Man knows how to lead, and he is confident in his role. You know how hard it is to be the captain of a ship? You are constantly forced to make decisions and take responsibilities. A slight sign of uncertainty is enough for you to lose the faith of your whole crew and probably the ship as well. How could 40 people follow their captain if he showed signs of hesitation and uncertainty? If you were in the crew, would you risk your life for such a captain? Not likely. Would you do it for a confident and resolute one who is always certain, even if he makes mistakes at times? Yes.
It’s almost the same with women. There are two people in a boat: you and she. You are the captain. She expects you to lead. At the first sign of uncertainty, she will jump out of your boat and choose another one. You will constantly have to be on your toes when making decisions. No one cares if it’s a good or bad decision; it’s you who will take the responsibility in the end. Young guys can’t take responsibilities. To be a Man, you have to learn that first. Each and every decision you make will have a consequence. You can postpone making it, but sooner or later, you will have to decide. And it might be too late by then.
I haven’t talked enough about confidence yet. Hesitation is not a Manly trait. A Man knows what he WANTS and ISN’T AFRAID to TAKE IT. When you make decisions, BE SURE OF YOURSELF. It’s a part of LEADING and taking RESPONSIBILITIES. You choose the restaurant where you will go with your date. You choose the table where you will sit. The food might be bad, and the people at the nearby table might be annoying, but who cares? If you are confident, my friend, you can get away with almost ANYTHING. Yes, ANYTHING. Read that sentence again.
Psychologists did an interesting experiment: There was a photocopy machine in a school where many students were always in line during breaks waiting their turn to make copies. A guy walked up to the machine with a banana in his hand. He cut to the front of the line and said, “I need to copy these papers right now, so I can eat my banana before the end of the break.” He did it casually and confidently, as if it were a normal everyday thing to cut to the front of the queue. But what happened next? Nothing. He stood in the front of the line, did what he wanted and then went to eat his banana. And no one complained! There was no fight, no loud words. This incident is just one of the many that show you can get away with ANY BULLSHIT as long as you are consistent with it and act confident enough in your role.
There is a difference between real and false confidence, however. A confident person is calm and cool, like a sniper waiting for his turn in the bushes. When such a person walks into a room, everyone is looking at him. And not because he walks so stiffly that they are laughing at him! That would be a falsely confident person, someone who is either annoying or funny because of visibly overcompensating for his insecurities. Typical signs are: trying to get attention by being loud, harassing somebody either verbally or physically to prove something to onlookers or being stiffly formal and walking like a robot with a serious expression instead of a smile.
But, if you don’t have real confidence yet, how can you fake it and not appear to be faking it? Isn’t this a paradox? Not really. With experience, you will be able to LOOSEN UP in your ROLE and seem very casual from the outside. A beginning stand-up comic is very nervous when he takes the stage for the first time. He has butterflies in his stomach. An experienced comic will take the stage as if nothing unusual is happening. No one notices that what he has is a kind of fake confidence. He still has butterflies in his stomach, but he has learned to deal with it and hide those feelings.
And that, my friend, comes with EXPERIENCE. If you have never kissed a woman, don’t expect to be confidently kissing 10 women a day tomorrow. This book is not a magic bullet. You will have to practice. You will have to experiment. You will have to put in the time yourself. I can’t do that for you. But, when you do, you’ll get the EXPERIENCE.
So back to our list, the second point is: A Man always has options, self-respect and is never needy. Yes. What do I mean by having OPTIONS? Initially, the woman is in the position of power. She is the one who chooses. And she knows this very well. When you approach her, she can reject you. When it’s time to kiss her, she can say no. When you want to have sex, she can refuse it. That’s all true. But how do we make sure that she doesn’t have a choice? Ha! By being a Man. She will see that you are one of the few “select” instantly and know this is her one and only chance to meet somebody like you. She knows you can move on and get another woman whenever you want.
By the way, I tricked you. A Man who is capable of leading well won’t leave her any time to think. He will appear out of the blue and talk to her. He will kiss her when the right moment comes without asking anything. She won’t have a choice. At least she will feel as if she doesn’t have a choice. And that’s what she has wanted all along. To be swept away by the moment, with no other choice or time to think about social restrictions.
Let’s talk a bit about SELF-RESPECT. People who think they are worth nothing or want to be treated like shit WILL BE treated like shit. How do you expect anyone to respect you if you don’t even respect yourself? Be able to stand up for yourself whether you’re dealing with women or men. How you see yourself and what you think of yourself influence your behavior, and people will respond to you accordingly.
Being depressed and having negative thoughts will get you nowhere. Your thoughts form your personality. Those who have negative thoughts and see everything as gray will attract such things into their lives. People who learn to control their thoughts and strengthen themselves with positive affirmations become successful.
“I don’t deserve this. I’m such a loser. I’m worth nothing. My life is a waste. Nothing works for me. I’ll never get any girls.” Eliminate those destructive thoughts for good. “I’m a real Man. I know what I want, and I know how to get it. I have goals in my life, and I am motivated to reach them. I’m successful with women and successful in everything else. I enjoy my smallest achievements and stay proudly on my path whatever life brings. I’m open to new experiences and ideas, learning from my faults and able to change myself in a good direction.” That’s what you should say to yourself every day.
As I mentioned, another tool in your arsenal is not being NEEDY. You don’t need her. But why don’t you need her when she’s so beautiful? And you’ve never had such a beautiful creature even talk to you … Stop now before your legs start shaking, will you? Lesson No. 1: NEVER EVER put a woman on a pedestal. Have your SELF-RESPECT, and don’t cling to her like a baby. Never put her above you. There are so many guys putting her up there that it’s not a challenge to her anymore.
In ancient times, the most successful cavemen, the Men, always had OPTIONS. They could choose literally any of the women they wanted. Did they put those women on a pedestal? No. They treated them like normal people — people who had desirable physical characteristics and might be capable of giving birth to their powerful children. Think a bit. If you were Brad Pitt and you could have all the women you wanted, would you put any of them above you? No way! And don’t laugh: When a real Man comes into her life, it will be like Brad Pitt appearing.
Be careful though. Girls know what’s up. Somebody with options will never show off or brag about it. He won’t say, “Oh, I have three girls, Vanessa, Mary and Janice. It’s so hard to choose between them. It’s not easy being a player these days.” He will act like a Man instead, somebody who is willing to go his own way without trying to meet anyone’s expectations. You don’t need to have eight girlfriends to have the attitude I’m talking about. Even if you had to move to another planet without knowing anyone, your Manliness should radiate from your personality, confidence and behavior.
A hot girl always has many men on the go. There are at least 10 numbers she can call to have an army of guys flocking to her door immediately, just like hot guys who keep many girlfriends at the same time. Usually the girls even know about each other, but the guy is so cool that they don’t care. Of course, you don’t have to keep a harem if it’s not to your taste. Initially, one girl will be more than enough to handle.
But you should still keep a few phone numbers in your pocket. Don’t stop seeing other women because of dating a hot girl. Even if you’ve kissed her or had sex with her, that doesn’t mean you’re already in a relationship and she is deeply in love with you. If you feel like it, call up some of those numbers, go out and have some fun. See? It’s again about having OPTIONS.
The third thing on our list is: A Man knows how to treat her. A Man is a gentleman. He will be attentive, opening doors and pulling out chairs for her, and know how to care for her. Of course, he does all this in a confident way. Girls mostly encounter two types of guys: One of them is the average chump, whom she is bored to death with, who will put her on a pedestal, fulfill each and every one of her wishes and so on. The other is the typical jerk who acts Manly at times, but doesn’t know how to treat her. Usually she will stay with the jerk instead of the average fool, but won’t be satisfied with either of them deep inside.
But a real Man knows HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN. And that’s not just about confidence. Never forget that women are not objects or devices of experimentation. They are wonderful human beings and everyday people, just like you. So treat them equally. They have bad days and good days. They pee and shit. And they especially like thoughtful words and little surprises. Sometimes being thoughtful or giving a little present will mean much more to a woman than a huge bank account.
Hot girls are self-validation junkies. They crave attention and appreciation. If you give her too much, like an average Joe would, she will get bored and leave you quickly. If you give her too little, she will end up seeking it from other guys. The best strategy is to REWARD her with validation. It’s a powerful tool. This will be a crude comparison, but think dog training. When the dog does something bad, he is scolded. But, when he does something to the liking of his owner, he is rewarded with a treat. It’s the same with women. Reward her when she does something that you like. You don’t have to buy presents. Kind words like, “I was thinking about you, remembered your beautiful smile, and it made me happy!” are usually more than enough.
On the contrary, never give in to wacky wishes of girls. It’s easy to go from one extreme to the other. If she wants to go shopping while you’re watching your favorite sports program, tell her to wait or go alone. Then another time when she doesn’t expect it, say that you decided to skip watching your favorite sports today and you want to take her out instead. The key is in the attitude. In the first case she’s being insistent. In the second, you are rewarding her for being a “good girl.” You are the Man, and it’s your decision. You are CONSISTENT within your MANLY FRAME, while being KIND and CARING at the same time. She will be happy because of this.
By the way, why don’t you get bored while playing sports? Because of competition and CHALLENGE. It’s the same with girls. Keep them on their toes. Be a CHALLENGE. Women love that. It’s part of being a Man and having OPTIONS. Show her that you are in control. Refuse what she wants today; give it to her tomorrow when she’s not expecting it. Push her away; then pull her back. This creates tension and excitement. Compliment her when you feel like it, but never overdo it. If you wake up every morning and tell her how beautiful she is, it will get boring quickly. But, if you tell her randomly, when she doesn’t expect it, it will make her happy.
So compliment women, and give them kind words. Show your girl that you care for her and think about her. Surprise her sometimes, but NEVER OVERDO ANY OF THESE. They are wonderful tools as long as they keep their value. If a product goes into mass production, it loses its luxury worth in the market and becomes commercial. If there were an Eiffel Tower in every city, would it be a curiosity? No. So treat the above tools the same way. Think twice before using them, but make sure you use them AT TIMES.
Last, here is another exercise. Some of the ideas described above might seem strange or unfounded. I want you to discover their power on your own. Read this chapter again a few more times, and think about it. Keywords are confidence, leading, making her feel safe, taking responsibility, not being needy, having self-respect, knowing how to be a gentleman and knowing how to treat women. When you feel that you have these concepts down in your head, ask a girl you know how she would define a “real Man.” If you can collect your thoughts and tell her about the topics behind the keywords I just mentioned, she will be astonished.
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