We all very used to complaining a lot, not realizing that sometimes it was our fault. We know that sometimes it helps to complain, so that our grievances will be heard and they will do something about it.
Complaining has its positive effect, it can improve the service, they will adjust their behavioral pattern, and other positive impact because of suggesting something by complaining.
But too much of a complaint can harm the system, even if you have no basis you just want to voice out anything not related to something you care about will not help you at all. It will just give you a headache and heartache.
Let’s state a basic example, A parent complaining about their son’s and daughter’s not even knowing their whereabouts, Children complaining about their parents not realizing what the parents have been through, A man/woman complaining about their relationships not understanding the feeling of each other, People complaining about society not recognizing that they also is a part of the problem. We have so many complain not become conscious that sometime the problem is on how we handle things.
Is complaining a part of human nature? Or we just couldn’t control our actions. Behaving in unruly way cannot solve the problems, it will just aggravate things. The more we complain, the more the problem becomes bigger. Why not instead of complaining a lot, we look for a solution for any problem we’re facing. If we can step back for a while, think and talk things over, I’m sure the outcome will be much better.
If we are skillful in the art of complaining, we can also be expert in the art of solving problems, problems pertaining to our complaint. The easiest way to solve any problems is by stop complaining and start working.
Stop complaining because it’s a waste of time. No matter how you want to explain things sometimes people will not get your point. We have different approach on things some people will agree to your ideals some may not. It takes a considerable patience on our part to understand people’s ineffectiveness. If you’re unsuccessful in laying your argument, just drop it off and move on.
If you have some complaints think twice before you say it or in some way look for solution first before complaining. If you’ve done that and still nothing happens think again and act accordingly. Listen to any explanation they will give to you if you’re not satisfied with their answers just widen your perspective, maybe you have a much better understanding of the situation than they are.
Lastly, make it a point that whatever comes your way you will not get caught by your emotions. If your emotions take charge, you lost control and you become angry it will get worst. Be at ease all the time and think that complaining is a waste of time there’s more positive things to do than wasting your time exchanging non- sense with someone not getting your idea.
Are you still complaining? Stop it and leave.
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
With all due to respect, I think complaining is healthy. We must remember that the Philippines overthrown 2 Presidents by complaining. It is also the complaining how crimes are being solved. This is needed when justice should be served.
However, complaining becomes unhealthy when we are not sincere about it. We keep complaining that others don’t know their job, but we ourselves are not doing ours.
I believe that complaining requires patience too. It is not just raising our voice, it’s about letting the recipient that the issues are for real.
Thanks!
i agree with you! Sometimes I complain on my teachers about rules and also with my parents..Unluckily nothing has change.
You’re right in a way Sir Angel because complaining has its positive effect, you are also right in saying that because of complaining we overthrown 2 Presidents, but still we are not yet learn from it, the problem keep coming back. It really takes a lot of patience on our part. Take care!
Andrew Kim you have to be a follower first before you can lead, complaining about rules and regulation will not help you because it is done to help people to be better. Take care!
yes, my friend, good post, thanks for your share.
pls, do you know how to edit my post body to a partial format ?
thanks.
I agree with Kuya Angel, complaining is ok as long you do it in a fashionable manner.
Well chong I forgot how to do it just research it in google.
Ma’am Snow, Sir Angel has a point and he is right but complaining too much without action on our part can derailed success. Take care!
Snow, aren’t you complaining already? Just kidding. Procrastination, hmp! Angel is always right. One true friend who never complains and always have a time to help a fellow blogger like me.
Hehehehehehe Sir Mon You are all right! No complain
Take care!
Sometimes we complain because we don’t know what to do, we don’t understand how things and people are, we complain because we want more in our expectations, we complain because our wants are not enough. But remember, too much complains can kill us. So stop complaining before it’s too late. Work on it instead.
Oh i think i gotta love this blog. More power!
Thanks Ambo, too much of a complain can really kill us. We have to start doing work before we complain. Take care!
I’m happy that lots of you see complaining as being healthy.
I also think complaining is healthy in most cases. To me it’s the same as venting an emotion.
Lots of people say: people should not complaint, but they should do something about their problem.
But I think that sometimes you first need to vent your emotion before you can deal with a problem. You need to clear your head so you can see everything clear and realistic. Also, sometimes it’s not possible to (immediately) solve a problem. Keeping your emotions in for too long would be eating energy and can be extremely unhealthy.
To me complaining/venting is the same as for example crying. How come most people think venting an emotion by crying is ok but venting an emotion by complaining is not? I guess only for their own selfish reasons: because they don’t like to listen to ‘negative’ story’s.
However, I do think that complaining is negative when someone whines about something that doesn’t really hurt them, so when venting an emotion isn’t necessary because there is no emotion. For example: people who complain every time something doesn’t go exactly their way, even when it’s about little things. Just because they want everything to go their way.
In that case I just see it as being negative. But if someone is hurt bij something and then ‘wines’ about it, in my opinion that person has the right to complaint as mucht as he/she wants. The person might even still be positive given the situation.
So I guess it depends on the situation for me: if someone is being too negative given the situation, I think it’s unhealthy and actually makes him feel wose.
If something bad happens and someone complaints about it a lot, but is still being positive given the situation, complaining is healthy and just the venting of an emotion, wich can make him feel better.
Sorry for the long story :;
@Me- You have a point, Complaining is healthy when it is necessary, like improving the system or you want them to know what your feeling on certain things, that will be ok. But if the complain is for the sake of complaining that would be waste of time. Take care!
I totally agree with Ambo. We all are afraid to admit our short comings and don’t want others to know about them. So we complain to or about others to make our selves feel better or to help forget what we wish we had done, but was to lazy to do. we tend to complain to much and with that comes excuses!!!! Everyone though has had a great input on this topic and I agree with certain aspects of everyone’s veiw points.
Sometimes we have that kind of nature thing, we blame first instead of fixing first. All have different view and all have a point. Thanks for dropping by Jessica, Take care!
Thanxx for your comment. I definitely agree with you that complaining is healthy when your goal is to solve the problem or to let someone know how you’re feeling. But I also think it’s healthy when the goal is letting it all out.
However, I always feel like people think complaining is healthy when someone is talking about a problem in a non-emotional way. That person is in fact just sharing information, not really venting an emotion because the emotion isn’t that strong yet.
But when someone doesn’t complain for a long time and keeps the problem to himself, and then when he really can’t take it anymore and the emotion becomes too strong, he let’s it out in an emotional way, that in that case people see it as negative.
This I think is because it looks like this person is being more negative towards the problem and it looks like he is exaggerating it. However, in fact he has been more positive than the first person. The reason that the problem comes out in such a strong way, is not because he is a complainer, but because the problem has been bottled up for long which has resulted in a stronger emotion.
I would actually see the last person as stronger and less of a complainer than the first one. The last person only complaints when he really can’t handle the problem by himself anymore and will probably not complaint often, the first one complaints way sooner and probably more often.
What do you think about this?
By the way: I definitely agree with you that complaining for the sake of complaining is annoying and a waste of time.
I just think that venting an emotion by ‘complaining’ in an emotional way instead of a rational one (what you do and in my opinion have the right to when you’re hurt) is often seen as complaining for the sake of complaining, which it is not.
This way people who are actually very strong and non-complainers, get called complainers while others who tell their problem right away, don’t. I think this is partially because of the reason I already explained above.
Another reason I think is that people don’t get annoyed by listening to someone who shares information rationally because the tone isn’t negative, while they do get annoyed by listening to a complaint that’s made in an emotional way because the tone of that one is very negative.
This however does in my opinion not mean that you can blame someone for venting emotionally. You (the listener) might not like to listen to it and you have the right not to, but you can’t tell someone that it’s wrong.
@ Jessica. I think there’s different reasons for complaining. I do agree with you on the fact that sometimes people complaint about others so they don’t have to look at their own shortcomings, or because they feel better about themselves if they talk negative about others. This I definitely see as a negative way of complainting. I mean, it is perfectly healthy to feel bad if you think others are better at something than you are or anything, and to FEEL like you can’t stand them because of this (jealousy, insecurity). That’s a natural defense mechanism. But to actually say negative things to or about them isn’t right in my opinion. So on that (if this is what you meant) I agree with you.
However, this is not the only reason that people can have for complainting. Not everyone who complaints does that to hide their own shortcomings. Sometimes their just hurt.
Maybe we should call healthy complaining ‘venting’/’sharing information’ (dependant on the reason for the complaint), and unhealthy complaining ‘complaining’? At least, to me the word comp-laining has a negative vibe to it.
@Me- Wow you have a great input, maybe you can write some guest post to this blog. Take care!
@ Me. You are a great conversationalist. I admire your straight to the point answers and the way you say things. You totally got what I meant. I think people need to think before they react. I am one of those people that hold in my problems until they pile up so much that they over load. I just lose it. You don’t mean to hurt anyone, but you need someone to let all your problems out to. They need to understand you need to vent and in doing this it helps you from “blowing up” and hurting them. Really the choice is in their hands…..They can listen to you vent……I didn’t say complain….to me there’s a difference. Or they can let you get so fed up with your problems that you eventually let it out on them……USUALLY without thinking about what you are doing. You are totally right on the fact that the word complaining sounds very negative and “venting/ sharing information” sounds better. I hope to hear a lot more from you on many different topics. *****Sigh***** Finally someone who actually knows…cares about what they’re talking about!!!!!! Thanks!!!!
@ Johnlazy! I totally agree, we all have different views and very great points!!!! Sometimes we should not be afraid to show our true colors and be who we are. I think letting people know how and why we do things would keep them from saying to us or titling us as “Complainers.” Well….maybe not. Why does everything seem to have a negative spin on it! Are we just that bad of people these days that we can’t see that people are venting and letting their anger out so their problems will subside? Are we that shallow or do we really not care.