By: Giuseppe Notte
This is the most important of all. I have met many guys on Internet forums who are trying to learn how to pick up women. They spend their time memorizing techniques, stories and routines to become better at picking up the hotter girls. Ultimately, most of them end up burned out and still without a life. Look, if you want to have success with women, you have to get your own life under control first. If you are a nerd and don’t have hobbies apart from sitting in front of the computer and watching porn, get a life — as crude as it sounds.
A Man is PASSIONATE. He has goals and dreams for his life, and he is DETERMINED to GET WHAT HE WANTS. A woman loves listening to a man who talks passionately about his hobbies, job or whatever. She wants to share his dreams and be a part of his wonderful world. If you don’t have a life outside the club where you picked her up, how can she be a part of something that doesn’t exist? She can’t.
There are hobbies that are particularly good for experiencing what it means to be a Man. Martial arts, dancing or anything competitive fits into this category. Even extreme sports fit, but they can be hazardous to your health. You’ll have to decide this for yourself, but here’s what I did: I took a salsa dancing course. Since then, I’ve become a fanatic. When you dance, you learn to let go of everyday stress and feel totally free. It’s also one of the best ways to learn indirect communication with females. In salsa (and other dances that involve couples), you are forced to lead. The woman won’t know what’s coming next; it will always be a surprise for her.
Imagine standing on the dance floor. You make eye contact with a girl, walk up to her confidently and ask for a dance. Then you grab her hand without waiting for a reply, lead her to the dance floor and start dancing with her. In such situations, you will FEEL what it’s like to be a Man. The sexy look in her eyes, how she glances at you, expecting you to lead — that’s when you realize what being a Man means. You learn to lead and make decisions. You learn to push and pull her gently. You learn about the subtle power play going on between the male and the female on the parquet. Do you FEEL what I’m talking about?
Have you noticed that when you stress too much about something and keep waiting for it anxiously, it just won’t happen? Like when you’re looking for your keys and turn the whole house upside down to find them. Only after you stop caring so much and say, “Damn it, I give up!” will you find the keys — right under your nose. This is true of everything in life. When you want something so desperately, you won’t get it. But when you can let go of your obsessive feelings and learn to care less about it, you will achieve your goal.
There is a method for getting anything you want. First, know what it is, and decide if you really want it. Second, be determined, resolute and ready to do anything to get it. Third, take the steps necessary to achieve your goal. Remember, you can’t win the lottery if you don’t play — no matter how resolute you are. And the fourth step is: After you’ve done everything you can, let it go. Yes, let it go. Forget about the whole thing, and stop caring so much. That’s the hardest part. But only then will you arrive at the fifth step, which is reaching your goal.
It’s exactly the same with women. After you’ve done what you can to accomplish your goal, let go of your obsession. Go out occasionally, socialize, make friends and live a busy life. As soon as you forget what you wanted so much, you’ll have girls flocking around you. Time and patience are necessary to achieve success with women. The busier you are, the less time you have to feel sorry for yourself because of not getting women or not getting the ones you want, and the more likely that you’ll be successful.
I’ve mentioned meditation before. It gives you power. You learn to release unnecessary feelings, to focus on important things intensely, to clear your mind and to keep your self-discipline. All of these will contribute to your becoming a Man. Inner balance brings outer balance that is visible to women. Learn to control yourself. The only person you can control in this world is YOU. If you just understand that, you will be way ahead of the crowd and find yourself leading others. A strong leader always has very strong self-control. He doesn’t want to control anyone, just himself and his reality, and the people follow him. With women, focus your mind on the inside. Believe in what you do, and believe that you will make women follow you. We make our own reality by the way we see it.
Your perception of the world is like a boomerang. It’s a subjective thing, which you can change, but it also comes back and influences you at the same time. You can see the world as an aggressive, hostile place and behave defensively, or you can build a friendly environment around yourself by acting accordingly. There is nothing you can’t reach. Again, this requires a lot of practice. This is what life is about.
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